Currently listening to 'Just Put it in Your Mouth.' remember when i went through that phase?
I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
the game I always play with drunk me is can-you-button-and-unbutton things? If the answer is no, go home. Usually it's his pants
In a shocking revelation, I learned that the Easter Sunday shit show happened not because of vodka but because my gay neighbor drugged me.
I think I'm drunk at the airport. Oh the possibilities
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Your penis caused this!
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
shes rolling around in the floor yelling my vagina hates me
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize
