i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
i wish i was a boy too so i knew what a blow job felt like
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
In honor of Sarah Palin's bday I suggest we watch Nailing Palin
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
These freshman guys were trying to holler at me from their window, and I realized about 20 minutes too late that the best possible reaction at that time would've been screaming "FLACCID PENIS". Oh, and I found this awesome zombie charm bracelet you would love.
its gotten to the point where if her hand isn't on my butt i think we're in a fight
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
It's best not to have your booty call on social media. So if they post stupid shit, you still want to fuck them.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize
