dude, she has braces
i meant the dude w the ponytail.
i was less creeped out when i thought you were talking about the 14 y.o.
Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
Holding a cold bottle of mikes hard lemonade against my pulverized taint....this is my Sunday night
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I’m not washing my pussy with handsoap.
Randomize
