Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
State Street has never looked so beautiful than during my walk of shame.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He was sleeping, but the way he was made him look like an adorable, fuzzy penis
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
I'm wearing too many socks to be ok with this.
Btw his name is Woody. I must be really drunk to think this is a good situation
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
death bed.
death patio
stfu you slept on the patio!?!
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
Randomize
