i just posted a lake picture of you with a dead fish in your mouth. happy july 5th.
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
Jus posted an album so big that it takes my manhood into question
She came in to my room half naked at 3am asking me if I had seen the movie balls deep 7
You distracted them by dancing on the stripper pole, I ripped the flag off the wall, stuffed it in my pants and we were out.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
I always forget that visiting my hometown is like a who's who of ugly people.
I defriended her. I just can't support someone whose profile picture is of their water birth.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
Halfway through the blowjob she stopped and said 'Wait I know this dick'.
Just watched two people have sex in the pool. Hope you enjoy your yeast infection courtesy of the comfort inn.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
you smell like vanilla and daddy issues
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
