1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
I will be naked everywhere
So for future reference.... it's a little unnerving when I can't get hold of you, and the last communication we had was, "Oh fuck... It's tequila"
I guess I realized I had a problem when I ordered 4 shots and told the bar wench to pour them all into 1 glass
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
i just want to get drunk and cry and have sex with lots of men
Randomize
