Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Mom found my vibrator. all the said was 'wow, I've never seen one like this before.'
we don't live in the stone age anymore, mom
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
i came on her dog
Basically I learned last night that if you're too polite people will think it's okay to play with your nipples when really its not even a little okay
2nd fun fact: he has a square tan line around his dick.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
Spending 4 hours in the emergency room today tells me that your birthday party was a success.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Please tell me last night did not happen and there is another reason why my phone smells like ranch sauce ahahah
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
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