You know I'm really starting to enjoy being everyones first gay experience
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
my quiz for the book was only 2 questions and my one answer was sorry and then a sad face
I can't wait to hear about your drunken cab ride to planned parenthood at 2pm
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Then you bent down and whispered, "excuse me mr. Stair, could you please stop moving?"
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
It will be like a scavenger hunt.. only we're looking for places to have sex.
Like you know your sex life is in a downward spiral when your best friend offers to sext you from Ireland
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
So on a scale of 1-10 how mad would you be if I sent you a picture from the inside of a strip club
Randomize
