so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
Would "deck the halls with penises " be an appropriate event title? I know peni is the plural but flow of the tongue as well
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
A big thanks to that bride-to-be, Her fiance and his loaded friends will forever hold a place in my heart for the generous tequila body shots on the couch at Henry's.
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Randomize
