I got three cases. When they asked for id I said it was suspended for drunk driving.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
My lack of memory is directly related to being friends with you.
Hmm. I hear gunshots, car horns blaring, hear drunk white people screaming, and see about fifty status updates pertaining to the hawks. I guess they won.
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
it was good sex until i became a rubber doll and he became a jack hammer, so i guess overall it was good
I just karate chopped a humming bird out of mid air. It came at my face while I was out side smoking. Scared the shit out of me. My ninja skills just took over. Haha. I mean really at that point it was me or him.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
why is there a thong in the fridge-NOT MINE-and a half of a pickle on the stairs?!
I don't wear thongs. The picle was for dipping. Ill explain later. Lacy or plain thong ?
Randomize
