We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
Ed hardy stationary at walmart. I'm betting snookie wishes she knew how to write
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
nothing says new school year like ambulances and police road blocks.
the $20 limit for secret santa doesn't apply to me cause you know a half gram of coke is more than $20
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
Hey hey, in my defense we were just suppose to watch Disney movies from a blanket fort with beer and nachos. I was I suppose to know it would end in tears?
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
answer my text you professional douchebag
and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Randomize