Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
Why are you covered in frosting?
Friend's birthday situation turned into enlightened cake orgy.
I just called my cat a slut and she responded. Proudest moment ever.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Why is my car covered in what appears to be salsa verde?
Pretty sure when I woke up the next morning we were still fucking. It just didn't stop.
I'm sobbing to NWA
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
Played Gay Bar on the jukebox and pissed off the Republicans here. Best day before birthday ever.
Randomize
