i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
sorry i'm running a bit late. had to shave my brittney...was looking more like rapunzel. clearly i've been having a drought.
If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Hey its the Filipino guy from last night. I just wanted to say sorry my friend bled all over your driveway. Great party though.
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Gotcha. Well, I'm puking and trying to keep down water from a mug that says "love the moment" around the rim. Not loving this particular moment.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
I think the blind guy i flirt with on a regular basis is starting to realize he's old enough to be my father. I can't tell if he's into it or not.
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
Randomize
