we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
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