we're getting ready to take strippers to breakfast. I love my life.
in the car goin home for fam dinner and he is silent... i think he realized how big of a whore his little sister is
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
I don't even want to talk about it, I'm traumatized. Even the dog knew to take advantage of the most intoxicated girl at the party...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
Your shirt... Was in my pants
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Never drinking before a 6am train again. Just threw up at boarder control and had to pretend it was cause I was pregnant and not cause I trashed.
You make Europe seem so glamorous.
wow wtf man i was the friend bailing you out of jail with 500 cash and you didnt have the common courtesy of waking me up for class when i passed out drunk and naked in the bath tub
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize