East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
i just had sex with a fat kid who giggles when he cums. tequila really lowers my standards.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
Apparently I kept telling the bartender that I was going to set the Guinness World Record.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
I had to carry you down because your legs weren't moving anymore but you were carrying the weights you stole from that guys room... and that's where the bruises came from.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
I hope my orgasm sounds aren't secretly that bad and no one tells me
How does this dude know what a dying walrus sounds like? That's the real question
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Never thought going to McDonald's alone at 3 AM would end with a blowjob outside some random girl's apartment...
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
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