Laying in bed naked with the guy I just fucked, talking to his WIFE who's sitting across from us like we're having a fucking tea party. This is interesting.
Do u have any bacon or vodka by chance
Dude I was fucking my girl on the couch and her dog came up and licked my balls. Does that mean we just had a threesome?
...I woke up with a yo yo in my underwear...
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
I'll bring the barf blanket just in case.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
No? The only contact I've had with him for months was when I drunk texted him from Costa Rica to say that all jazz sounds the same
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
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