I saw him at work today and he gave me a really awkward "I know what you do drunk" look...
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
I just turned in a 4 page paper spelling absolute as "absolut" every single time. I'm an alcoholic
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
So after tequila Thursday, Jess broke her arm table dancing. Now her and Andrew look like the perfect drunk couple, matching casts and all.
I figure that my generation of my family needs an alcoholic. I'll take that burden.
I have come to the conclusion that my perfect boyfriend is a cardboard cutout of Link with a dildo attatched. Also, Merry Christmas.
So the " I'm gay but curious" thing worked. You owe me 50 bucks.
I'm eating cake, naked, in bed. I am GREAT at being single.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
how do you know everyone's mad at you?
I just woke up feeling shameful
according to the calendar even that i put in my phone last night, i'm supposed to fuck shit up at 11am today... i really hope i didn't miss something important
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