I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
when she was cumming she looked like terri schiavo. it took all of my memorized porn images to not go limp.
i will be the first lesbian to ever fail women's studies.
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Watched a women out our tannin salon literally fight police because she was getting arrested for trying to drunkenly fight the tanning salon owner...we need to step up our day drinking this is shameful.
The fact that every guy you've slept with since you've lost virginty either have the same first or last name isn't normal.
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
Couldn't finish, so she gave me "the tap," and I had to leave the mound early. Nothing worse than the long walk back after the manager comes out and asks for the ball.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
