his penis is like a homeless cat. ever since I've satisfied him he keeps showing up on my doorstep ask for more.
Google Chrome's "top 8 most visited sites" page has become my motivation to stop masturbating
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
I don't know what you slipped me, but my TV is vomming blood right now. Thanks, jerkoff.
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
I woke up naked and you weren't here. What a relief.
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Punched myself in the face trying to open a bottle of Vicodin one handed. Night is going well.
Randomize
