finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
in hindsight, $10 Malibu buckets were a terrible idea...
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Um please remind me to tell you what happened tonight. It involves wine, pain killers and firing a handgun in our apartment. Legit might be hiding from the cops this weekend.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
You ask too many questions when I'm blowing you. You're like a dentist asking how my day has been during a cleaning.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
