dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
I woke up this morning with "guy in polar bear j.crew boxers" written on my stomach along with a 5 digit phone number...
Should I text him? Life is confusing when you actually like someone instead of just wanting to blow them.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
You are the only person I have ever seen offer your other drink to the bouncer on two fors night
Bouncers are people too...giant angry people
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Goddamnit Shari. He's not called Pencil Dick because he's good a sketching...
Is it immoral to trade sex for the use of his laundry room?
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Randomize
