I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
i'm transferring to degrassi. i don't care that it's severely canadian. classes are five minutes long, there's no actual work and you can get oot of class whenever you want to go have a dramatic scene with someone in the hall
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
Well the police had to intervene and I couldn't exactly feel my legs by the end of the night, but I'd say it was a successful Friday night.
Some guy just rode an office chair down my street, I hope he comes back so I can give him my number.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I'd google it, but I don't really want my search history to say, "Name for masturbating on a flight."
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
You know you're high when, "Why can't I steal the duck?!" Becomes a serious question.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
I’ve jerked off three times and taken five shits already today. Being hung over in your 40’s is a fucking roller coaster.
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