So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Just so we're on the same page, we cannot have been the first people to have ever thought about shooting that guy with crossbow
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Seriously I just dipped a banana in vodka I really need to stop drinking
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
If his smile makes you freak out and drop things imagine what his penis could do
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
We just fucked in the park on a bench and a guy with a dog walked past us and the dog walked right up to us while the guy stared at his phone.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
