direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
Trying to Jedi mind trick myself into not throwing up. This is not the esophagus you are looking for.
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
