went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
Because I can't get laid, I'm day-drinking and hunting squirrels in the backyard. You can take the girl out of Montana...
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
How high are you?
I feel like breakfast can just fly into my mouth
I just told him I want him to "take the reins". At least its festive sexting?
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
Next time I say "i forgot to eat dinner, oh well" before drinking STRAP ME TO A CHAIR AND FORCE FEED ME BEFORE ALLOWING ME TO CONSUME BOOZE
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