and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
Dude its 315 and I'm sitting here eating slices of cheese. Don't talk to me about tomorrow.
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
Drunk sex destroyed my coffee table... ikea this weekend?
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
He was talking up his golf swing like other guys talk up their dick. Is this adult dating or just another flavour of douchery?
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
Why did I wake up naked with a leg cramp and and extra $550 in my wallet?
Randomize
