so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
I think "bars open christmas minneapolis" is the saddest google search i've ever done.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
So, I had a dream last night that girls approached guys at the bar and said things like "i would like to pleasure you tonight." No drink buying, no sweet talking or ANYTHING.....it. was. awesome.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
I would fuck him just for his dog
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