The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
Today I realized that I've had whole drunk relationships with people. And sober me has and wants no part in it.
So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There are two people having sex in one of the showers right now trying to silence their orgasm sounds and failing. Thank you coed bathrooms.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
