You're a big dope. Life is about fighting for what you want, not accepting what you hate.
Why does tequilla always make you text me?
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
my whole wardrobe smells like substance abuse
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
My friends got engaged today and I learned the techniques of going upside down on a stripper pole. I'm not really sure who won...
I gave in, made out with her, and long story short, I'm giving hetero another try.
I want to shoot him sideways (so he can still breathe) in the Adam's apple with my little crossbow.
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