non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
I sent her 8 pictures of my dick in a baked potato. Not sure how I thought that would get me laid later.
Someone else needs to become the bad example in our group
But you wear shame so well
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
It made me want to take you home, put you in footie pajamas and feed you spaghettios
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
