Hey, go out with us like you promised. You're younger than us and should be able to handle your coke problem with grace.
Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
theres bread in your mailbox im going to eat it
nevermind its newpaper
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
he ate me out like he was chugging a beer.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
I took "we live within stumbling distance of the bar" as an invitation and challenge
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
My gut feeling that we had reached a new level of intimacy last night was confirmed early this morning when you sleep farted on penis.
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
ill be home in an hour. Be in my bed ready for disappointment
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
you yelled, puked and cried then passed out in the fetal position in your underwear
Randomize
