She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Just had a nice conversation with my landlord while cleaning your puke off my car
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
I feel like the only phrases I can clearly speak while drunk consist of: i'm fucking drunk, chug, and shots
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
Wait is this place where the strippers are missing teeth and I think one is missing a thumb? Though I don't know how she would maneuver on the pole without a thumb. Pls advise.
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
I live in Vegas It shouldn’t be this hard to find a penis looking for a night of no strings attached sex
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