I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
He said he got laid, but you and i both know he was too high to leave his house.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
Plus he is a pilot so I could give him flight dome
I don't know why I bit your face last night but I'm sorry .
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Randomize
