Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
In Vegas, have spent the last 48 hours wearing a viking helmet and fanny pack. I consider this to be a career high since drinking is my career
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
I dressed up as a "typical white girl" which meant I wore my yoga pants and uggs all night. BEST. IDEA. EVER. Most comfy halloween everrrr.
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I did just chug a pint glass of wine during a solid round of masterbation, so I believe I am ready for bingo.
I only wore my thong with cheeseburgers on it because I thought we'd have sex. So I basically wasted my best thong for nothing.
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
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