You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
I woke up on the steps beside a plate of spaghetti and a toilet paper roll ripped in half. And i actually think this day is gonna get better.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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