; Think of how many worthless people would b non existant if there was no liquor so their parents never hooked up
No, I'm talking to this Chinese girl. Can't understand a word she's saying, but i think i caught the word vagina a few times.
ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I just keep sniffing it hoping for an explanation.
Been in the ER for 3 hours now. This hospitals transition to paperless is not going well. But my doctor looks like Elton John and just gave me percocet
I just set a bowl of cap n crunch on fire. That high.
There was blow residue on my chem book and my TA was like, did u stain your notebook with CaCO3?
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
Hey guys.. So I accidentally broke the front door last night
if I dont text you back in 10min assume i am in fact still dizzy and injured myself in the shower. and call an ambulance. thanx.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Can I borrow a thong? I’m having drinks with a cute boy tonight and I’m out of clean underwear
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