I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
I feel like I should limit myself to one meal prepared from a box per day
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
its warm now so i can go back to sleeping with guys based on their fuckability rather than how much warmth they generate.
if you fuck our toilet off the wall again, i'm going to be so mad.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
My new successful method of booty calling is sending a screencap of a map with the shortest route from their location to mine highlighted.
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
Dicks are not precious.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
