I would have done the walk of shame but I couldnt walk
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
There is a such thing as a wonderpuss octopus. Officially my new favorite animal.
the line at the liquor store is out the door, and students in line are high-fiving like crazy...i love college snow days
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
No, I did not fuck him for football tickets. I fucked him for tickets to the superbowl. I'm not that much of a slut.
Dude, she sent me a nude of her posing in the mirror and her dad was in the reflection
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
The things i do for you...I put all those condoms on a bed, complete with girl, and you sleep in the bathroom
He follows more cats on Instagram then he does girls.. That's how you know your boyfriend is whipped.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
Idk if you've ever tried hysterically crying in the shower listening to Florence + The Machine but it's honestly a life-affirming experience
Randomize
