Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Just watched Hilary Duff have a three-some on Gossip Girl...all I could imagine was that LIzzie Maguire cartoon girl freaking out above their heads
he was wearing 3D glasses the whole time.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
second roommate of the year to get clamydia. go life.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
The best thing about this time of year is that all I have to do is add a random mardi gras decoration to my cart full of alcohol and boom, no more judging
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
I'll be coming off of 7 days of not drinking. No horse tranqs either. I haven't been this sober since I was in the womb
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