He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
shotgunning a bud heavy is like shotgunning a turkey sandwich
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
Tonight we are playing Scuba-Keg. Getting keg now. I'll explain when i get home.
the choice between paying your electricity bill and getting herpes medicine is a tough one.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
Her bed looked like it had just hosted a water balloon fight. It was that good.
I went to grab his drink and my hand grazed his dick. It was magical.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
50% drunk capacity currently
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
