Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
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