Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
the snow is so cold on my vagina.
why do you have snow on your vagina?
vodka and heels.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
i'm 6 minutes and 3 drinks deep before she gets here. she's do-able for a wednesday night, but i still need to mentally prepare, ya know?
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
So hypothetically speaking.. say someone dropped their birth control pill in a hot bowl of soup, and it possibly disintegrated.. would it be just as useful?
He just kept going down on me. And he was all like, do you mind? No motha fucka, who would? All of his ex's, apparently. Whatever, he's a gem and I'm keeping him.
Randomize
