i'm sure there's a big cosmic reason for things working out the way they did. like, now you have awesome images to masturbate to.
This is a mass text. Does anyone know what the hell the asian woman at the end of Napoleon Dynamite is doing in the movie
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
Im just a social blackout drinker.
I just realized that the thing that smelled like an electrical fire in my house was me.
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
He sent me a dick pic from his living room and it has pictures of his three kids in the background
too bad we didn't bet. my 38-1 tears would have made great lubrication for a blow job.
I hope the lord has blessed you with many tampons, child.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
I asked him if we were exclusive and he followed up with, "If a tree falls in the woods and no ones around, does it still make a sound?" Wtf am I supposed to do with that?!
My boss just offered me a vodka mixed drink at work I do not have a real job
Randomize
