I am engaged
To a real live girl that has met me
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
The walk of shame is slightly more complicated when you wake up in the wrong country...
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
Just put the gallon of milk in the microwave. Dad might know im high.
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
He came to my house drunk at two a.m., got in the hot tub, refused to get out until he smoked a blunt, and said "That's what brothers and sisters are for."
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
Annnnddddd this chick is using a hand puppet made of a sock to give her research presentation...
But what if there are 6 people and they end up just pairing the off into 3 couples. Is it still an orgy?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
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