Myspace is for pedophiles and tweakers in the 818 trying to hook up. I always forget theres music there too
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
We just had the worst moment of our late twenties.... We just realized we are too old for the real world
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
This guy is clearly nuts his idea of a hangover cure is a six pack poured into a camelpack then hiking 3 miles with a weighted vest. He said "learned it in the army i guess drink beer beat the heat"
I couldn't finish the episode and had to lay down because the snapple commercial with the mustache was blowing my mind
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
He literally said from now on he's always banging chicks with asthma becuas it's such an ego booster
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
I tied him up for his boyfriend so he could get fisted... I'm the best roommate ever.
Wow. That's certainly more than I've ever done for a roommate.
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