I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
You insisted on going outside so you could "breathe real air".
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
YOURE A FUCKING ADULT. DONT TELL ME ITS PAST YOUR BEDTIME WHEN I WANT TO GET ANOTHER COCKTAIL.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
and please, if you feel the urge to call me crying tomorrow night, do so. i will be home bored and sober.
Wanna get drunk and make some bad decisions?
Are you calling me a bad decision?
He just compared fucking my vagina to a snow flake falling on his forehead: gentle.... I'm not sure if that's a compliment or not.
Randomize
