I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
recess is on disney at 4 in the morning, insomnia has never been so rewarding
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
good news. it is gonna rain tomorrow so now I don't have to pay to clean the puke off the side of your car.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
No, I'm not a weirdo, I keep bondage straps under my matress like a normal person, not a diary.
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
Randomize
