I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
he does have a point though, watching you drink makes me never want to drink again
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
I don't know, we got really drunk and I slapped her with an ear of corn.
Thanks for not letting me get involved with a serial killer. That's true friendship
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