it hurts more in the daytime
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Last night I texted her to confirm she could start designing costumes for my show this week.
That is one convoluted booty call.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Seriously, this trumpet player gives me chills. Might be the drugs.
He seduced me by making me nachos. It worked.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
I just thought that if your brother was ever going to invite me over again, he probably shouldn't catch me fucking you in his bathroom.
Jack said he hasn't jerked off in like two weeks and he's like a smoldering volcano who wants to bury you like Pompeii with his man gravy
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
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