would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
The following message is brought to you by IMSOFUCKINGSORRY. Dude I'm really sorry I got you arrested last night. You are allowed to choose a repayment plan from the following options: Money, weed, or a single kick to the balls any time within the next calender months. Repayment outside of the aforementioned options can be negotiated and considered within reason.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
My shower turned into a bath, turned into me lying on the shower floor with the water running over me... That hung over..
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