Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I am choosing my outfit based on how fast I can get it off. Please help.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
his grandma walked in on us. twice. and he was truly fucking surprised when i put my pants back on.
I tried to explain to the cop how we all have skeletons in our closets but he just wouldn't listen.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
I'm sitting on our balcony drunk. And in my underwear. Our relationship with our neighbors may improve.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
ok now I feel liek a very drunk human instead of a chaos being thanks water
Worst date ever. Bro she asked when we can start having kids because her clock was ticking.
Run dude. Just run
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
Randomize
