thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
as evidence of my kitchen this morning my night involved alot of mustard and condoms
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I think it's gonna be hard to find a guy that won't take my consistent drinking as alcoholism
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
My soul is telling me that I need to take this exam naked.
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
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