if you come down to my room ill tell you a secret
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
Tornado booty call.. dedication
you missed an awesome concert last night. some middle aged woman that was grinding on me kept trying to stick her hand down my pants. i ended up rewarding her tenacity by letting her hold onto it for a song, i think it made her night.
We can't BOTH have terrible sex lives. Get fucked or throw him out.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Randomize
