Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
I almost got runover on the sidewalk by a car but wen it got closer it was a crackhead walking with the whole front of a car... bumper, lights and all... I love New York.
I'm starting therapy this week.. Taylor Swift music isn't cutting it for me anymore
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
Thanks i'm proud of you and I'm proud of beer and vodka for making me drunk
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
Shaving your bikini line at 11 at night in the Walmart bathroom feels trashy no matter why you're doing it.
Too high to wash a dish but just high enough for a kitchen fire
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