so how does one go about finding a summer fling?
take advantage of an intern
Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Idk what the interview would be like but I imagine you in a suit and tie surveying a nervous freshman and eventually leading him into a labyrinth of debauchery and clapping him on the back, saying "welcome to the fraternity, son"
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
He was so traumatized by the It's a small world ride but he immediately pulled out a flask from god-knows-where and got drunk before the ride was over. The ride operator didn't blame him.
It wasn't intentional or anything but I've now had sex with all of your siblings. How's college going?
one of my students asked me today if i was having a baby. fuckin 4 year olds and their lack of filter. time to get back to the gym i guess
Randomize
