Im at strip club and am horny
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
My stomach is revolting cause i have put food in it and no alcohol.
I had a dream that I had to take a breathalyzer but then it turned out to be a bong....why can't that be real life?
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
She super glued his penis to his testicles. And shaved off a good portion of his hair after he passed out at the party.
My nipples are raw, I've yet to go to bed, I feel like death, and I'm at work. Thank you jack, crown, and Lafayette!
Randomize
