Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
I call biggest shit show at the party. I welcome all challengers.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
Said he had been eating pineapple for a week before our 1st date. Not sure if thankful for his consideration or offended by his assumption.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
Want to get together for a boner voyage before you leave?
I knew the night had taken a turn when we showed up and our flabongo was being chilled in the freezer.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
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